Two holidays to go, Prudie? You left out Kwanzaa, the pagan Solstice celebration, Festivus...(click link for source material)
But when Eric eats a banana, he gains the strength of twenty BIG men:
On the Down Low: Nice read on Prudie's tendencies. Deflecting "get tested" advice? Great catch!
Cheapskate Christmas: What happens when materialism meets extended recession? Don't touch that dial!
Children That I Know Of: Ahh, Facebook. It'll cause apocalypse in about three years.
Auntie Adolf: Does she also paint postcards in her spare time and dream of joining German army?
Scared Straight: I'm recovering alcoholic. I don't want booze in my house. Not quite the same, but...
One Year of Parental Dumbassity: Repeat after me: "Don't you know there's a recession going on?"
Pregnant Snobby Bitch: Just wait until kid's born. All illusions of yuppie parenthood dissolve in baby tears.
MIL, Not MILF: "Beat it, bitch, or I'm calling cops." She already hates you; you've nothing to lose!
Re: Madison: "Gift of service" is often least appreciated. Just cut the check.
Dumbfuck Knocked Up: Please, abort that kid. Chronic Stupid isn't good parenting trait.
Produce Exchange: Watch Penn&Teller Bullshit! episode "Eat This." Then SHUT. The FUCK. UP.
Nagging Wife: If she insists on being Alice, you be Ralph. Bang, zoom, to the moon!
Brother Politician: Say flat out: "Who's running against you so I can write a check for him?"
Gay man's perspective: I ran it by my gay friend. He said "Ugh. Good way to get AIDS."*
Give the Gift of Grammar: How about "re-gift"? Does that drive you even crazier?
Nagging Wife Replies: He's watching his kids. Prudie's right.
Seth Rogen: Once...for now, and you're still a fucking retard. Abort! Abort!
I Only Eat Local = Pesudo-Intellectual Dimwit: Or Slate writer for "Green Lantern" section.
I want to make bumper sticker: "Organic Food = Genocide" and go to Whole Foods.
*Breaking character here to clarify my gay friend's comment: He said that "it's the closeted ones you have to watch out for. They're not comfortable with their sexuality, they're not 'in' the lifestyle, and their denial makes them take a lot of stupid risks. That's why I only go for guys who are openly 'out'." Hope the Fray doesn't mind me going over 15 words to properly source an item.