Source material courtesy of Slate's Dear Prudence here.
Santa: When it absolutely, positively has to get there overnight...on Christmas.
1) Tell her, "Only one who can do that is Santa. You still believe, baby-brain?"
2) Man-hating Prudie strikes again. What denomination, "Church of Seventh Commandment Heresy"? Not OK!
3) Send card back: "Our Christmas Wish is for Rogue Teabaggers in Malebolge."
4) Only thing better would be bomb-in-a-box. What a shrew.
Only 366 more days until Christmas 2010. Let the shopping season begin!