Source material, as always, at Slate.
I like this column. It has a high strength-to-weight ratio:
Christmas Surprise: Might want to send 'em "save the date" reminder around, oh, January 1 or so.
Midnight Cinderella: Give your guy this one---he's one up on most dudes! Count your blessings.
Dead Dog Walking: What an insensitive shrew! You've got one Christmas left with Pooch. Make most of it.
News Boy: Seventy-five bucks, Prudie? Where were you when I was kid delivering paper?!
Wicked StepMother: I'm with Prudie. If I had kids, new wife better love them as her own.
Tipping: There goes that stereotype---a Jewish woman admonishing a cheapskate? Oy vey!
Holiday Knocked Up: I love your idea. Cute, loving, reminds him why he loves you. Congratulations!
re: Tipping: Big difference between "don't have the money" and "too fucking cheap to share a buck."
Sexual Harassment Santa: What, and deny pervy guys chance for cheap thrill? I say no harm, no foul.
Cinderella Revisited: You planning to stay with this guy? Send "don't tread on me" signal. SOON.
Post-Death Pet: Interesting third option. Really no right answer, though. Dying pets suck.
Molester Stepdad: Here's an idea for what to put in stepdad's gift box: C4, detonator, trigger switch.
Broke in Baltimore: Where's Pogue Mahone when you need him? Give gift of kinky, wild sex!
Put a Tiger In Your Tank: Three girls, one cup, eh? Give him divorce notice for Christmas.
Rotation of Hosting: Jane, you ignorant slut. Just stop it already.
Drunk in Cincy: Fuck, in my alkie family even the toddlers get beer. Worry yourself not.
Tipper of Menlo Park: Send kid a note: "No money for you, and I've told your supervisor." No respect...
Christmas Hideout: This is what white lies were made for: Tell in-laws you've got plans!
The Thought That Counts: Amen. Love gets more valuable the more freely it is given. (Economists just facepalmed!)
Oh Wolfie, oh wolfie, ain't we got fun?