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Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant:
1) You know what this tells your husband? "My wife is a doormat." Expect more cheating.
2) What is she cooking? Chicken tartare? She needs food safety class.
3) Forgive me for being crude but was he drunk? Lucky he only killed himself.
4) Keep cans of SPAM around. Give one to each offender, say "now we're even, Madoff."
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