My brain is overloading; it has a chocolate coating. (Textbook case for Sigmund Freud!)
Tampa Bay, 0-7: That's not a wife. It's a roommate and fuck buddy. Ditch your wedding plans.
Dallas: Is father-in-law on sex offender registry? No? Then where's the problem?
Foot Lauderdale: Buy flimsy furniture, set up camera. Gods, I love YouTube!
Detroit: Turnabout is fair play. Text beau's dad back with photos of you fucking his son.
Houston: What a guy. Send him happy photos of you and half-sister, twist that knife!
V for (Childish) Vendetta: Normally I'd say "childish freakout", but hubby sounds like he's hiding something. Like mistress.
Fairfax: "No problem" belongs on same pile as "You need to..." Modern American barbarism, methinks.
Seattle: One thing to make lout sleep on couch; quite another to say "nice fuck, bye."
Washington: Twist knife: "Your son was dumb luck. I wouldn't trust you to mommy a rat."
Austin: For jealous rage, Old Testament God has nothing on religious zealots!
Toronto: Say "Looks like she traded one cancer for another. Your charity's malignant, eh?"
Chicago: Apparently your "success" doesn't include family values. Boyfriend should ditch you, find better future mom.
Washington: I call this "gender equity." I've gained two pounds in five years married. Nag hubby!
Nor'Easter: He's a dick. Better not to keep company with such dishonest sleaze.
No prob, dude: Or give it an ethnic flavor: "De nada."
Rhode Island Red: Theory, schmoery. People say what they picked up along the way.
King Jeremy the Wicked ruled his world...Jeremy spoke in class today.