Source material from the Internet Advice Lady here.
As God is my witness, I swear I thought turkeys could fly:
1) Note to Mr. Smith: BREAK OFF THE WEDDING! This marriage will NOT end well!
2) Paranoid? No. Sensible, smart, possessing basic sense? Yes (except for feeling need to write Prudie...)
3) While "emotional distance from patients" technically only applies to doctors, it's safer for you too.
4) Tell gun nut uncle to check firearm at door. Otherwise, call cops, report armed lunatic.
Does uncle have daughter? He'll bring shotgun to wedding!
Turkeys can't even have sex without help (domesticated ones, anyway). It's true! Read it in "Animal Vegetable Miracle."
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the episode of Dirty Jobs where Mike Rowe "assists" the turkeys in breeding? Not that I'm overly concerned for their welfare---I just eat the damn things.
ReplyDeleteGood advice Doggie! I particularly like the prediction about the shotgun uncle....
ReplyDeleteI didn't know about the turkey sexual predicament. Do they make turkey Viagra?
I always feel sorry for the turkey but I cook it anyway. Why is that?
Sorry, I should have called you "Fox". Is that your married name?
ReplyDeleteSingle, married, Fox is my name. Dennis L. "Fox" Doucette, to whom these blog entries are copyrighted.
ReplyDeleteI'm quite happy that when you google my given name, I'm the first result. Take that, lawyer in San Diego! You can't overcome the awesome power of my Civilization 3 strategy guide!