TL;DR Prudence (10/15): Answers in 15 words or fewer.

Source material so you can follow along at home here.

Na na na, gonna have a good time (hey hey hey!)

1) Who gives a flying crap who you fucked? No STD? No problem!

2) Chris Rock: "If your kid calls his grandma mama and mom Pam, that ain't right!"

3) Dad really traded down, didn't he? Lesson to boys: Don't marry dumb sluts.

4) $140? What's a Glock and a bullet cost for Bridezilla's just deserts?

Four-thousand word midterm yesterday. Sixty-word column today. Phew.